The feeling that your partner may be losing interest in you can be a hard pill to swallow. Not only does it make you feel insecure about yourself and your relationship, but it also can trigger some deep abandonment wounds.
There is nothing worse than going from being on cloud 9 and in love, to noticing signs he’s losing interest in you.
The problem is, how can you tell if your boyfriend is losing interest in you, and in enough time that you can do something about it? Also, when is it time to learn to let go and realize that you are better off without that relationship?
Thankfully, we’ve created this article to teach you all about spotting the signs he’s losing interest, and what you can do to fix it.
Keep on reading to learn how to rekindle your flame, fire up your sex life, and make him fall in love with you all over again!
He Stopped Talking About the Future
At the beginning of any relationship, there is the classic honeymoon phase where both partners express their love for each other and are excited about their future together.
After this period, the seriousness of the relationship spikes, and each partner becomes used to being in each other’s lives. Your partner may speak less and less about the future because they just know in their heart that you are meant to be.
This is the ideal scenario for when your partner stops talking about the future. Unfortunately, they can also stop talking about the future because they no longer see a future with you.
One way to handle this situation is to bring it up in conversation. Wait till a good moment when you are both hanging out together and both in a relaxed mood, as you do not want to blind-side him with a “talk”.
Tell him that you have noticed he is speaking less and less about plans, and wanting to make sure everything is okay on his end. Be prepared to hear something that you do not want to hear, however, it is better now than later.
Another way to handle this is to initiate more serious relationship stuff, such as meeting with each other’s parents more often or planning a big vacation together.
The Romance Is Fizzling
If your partner began the relationship with romance and you notice that it is fizzling out, he could just be getting too comfortable. Many men shmooze their partners at the start of a relationship to win her over and forget that the romantic tone has now been set.
Some signs he’s losing interest in romance could be fewer date nights, less sex, infrequent sweet-talks, fewer gifts such as flowers, and less desire to cuddle. If you see these signs, do not panic as there are some things you can do.
Talk to your partner and see if he has any ideas for some date nights or new activities that you could try together. This could be dance lessons, skydiving, cooking classes, double-dates with another romantic couple, and even some role play in the bedroom.
Plan a weekend away together to strengthen your bond and rekindle the romance. Don’t forget to pack your lingerie!
He Isn’t Making Time For You
Noticing that your partner has been pulling away and spending less time with you can be a frightening feeling. If he has been canceling on your usual date nights or seems to be spending more time at work this is a major sign that he is pulling away.
First, ask yourself if you have been spending too much time together in the first place, as you do not need to be spending every waking moment together. Having your independence is key to a healthy relationship. He could just be wanting to have some of his independence back, which is completely healthy and important for his (and your) well-being.
Initiate a chat with your partner to see what’s up with him, maybe he is over-stressed at work, or feeling down about something else in life. This could be irrelevant to your relationship, or it could be something you do not want to hear.
Either way, better to know now than later down the road when your relationship becomes more serious.
He’s Less Responsive On the Phone
In the honeymoon phase of the relationship, you two were probably talking day and night. There is so much to get to know about each other, and the excitement of a new flame keeps you wanting more.
Over time, this excitement can naturally dwindle and you may speak less on the phone when you are apart. This could cause you to feel insecure about your relationship and wonder if these are signs he’s losing interest.
Ask yourself if you are still as communicative in person, and if you are, there is nothing to worry about. You have transitioned from the phone to in-person communication which is much more real.
It is a different story if you are in a long-distance relationship and he seems to be less responsive. Simply ask him what’s going on for him and if there is anything that he needs to speak about.
He Is Not Initiating Sex
Most couples hump like rabbits at the beginning of the relationship, which naturally begins to fade over time. This does not always mean that he is losing interest in you. Comfort is a good thing in a relationship, and he could just be getting”too” comfortable.
A low sex drive is also a sign of illness or something wrong with his mental health, so before you make it about you, check in with him to see if he is doing okay.
If everything is okay with his health, there are some things you can do to rekindle that flame in your sex life:
- If you are polyamorous, ask if he would like to have a threesome
- Bring in some toys, such as a vibrator to the bedroom
- Ask each other dirty questions
- Initiate role play
- Ask him his sexual fantasies and make them come true
- Buy new lingerie or crotchless panties
These activities should get him fired up and in the mood in no time. If not, you need to be prepared to have a serious conversation.
He Is Emotionally Distant
If you feel that your boyfriend is pulling away emotionally, it can be a very nerve-wracking feeling until you find out what is going on. This type of behavior calls for a serious talk to find out what’s happening for him.
When he is in a good headspace, initiate a conversation with him and ask him why he seems to be emotionally distant. If he turns on the TV, changes the subject, shuts himself off from speaking, or just tells you to stop talking about it, these are major red flags.
You will need to ask yourself if this is the kind of relationship that you want to have. How important is emotional availability to you? If your relationship never had much depth, to begin with, this won’t be much of a problem.
However, if it has changed, and he isn’t speaking up, you may need to say goodbye.
He Is Not Supporting You
Being in a relationship can feel like hard work at times, especially when you have to support your partner on top of your hardships. This is when you have to lean on each other’s strengths and forgive each other’s weaknesses.
Although, if he is usually supportive and seems to have pulled away, something is bothering him. Before you jump to the worst-case scenario, this could be the cause of one of a few things going on.
Ask yourself first; is the area that you need support in, something that agrees with his core values?
If he isn’t supporting you in something, it could be because he does not agree with what you want to be supported in.
For example, if you were wanting to lose weight by entering a physique competition, he may not agree with you standing on stage and being judged by your body. In that case, he is being very supportive, just showing it in what you consider the wrong ways.
If he is not supporting you in all aspects of life, you need to have a serious conversation. He could also feel that you are not supporting him enough, which made him pull back to protect himself.
He Does Not Label Your Relationship
If your man is not labeling your relationship, this is one of the biggest signs he’s losing interest in you. This could mean that he has a fear of commitment, or is simply just not interested in you anymore.
If one of you is more open about the relationship than the other, it is a recipe for disaster for your bond. Discuss what is causing him to not want to commit, and if he is not meeting your needs, this may not be the right relationship for you.
You Do Not Feel Like a Priority
Within the relationship, it is important to put yourself first and then your partner. If you do not feel like a priority in your boyfriend’s life, then he is not taking the relationship seriously enough.
Before you jump to conclusions, pay attention to what he is paying attention to over you. If his activities are learning a new hobby such as playing a new sport, musical instrument, or learning a new language, then he is taking care of himself.
Self-care is essential for a successful relationship, so him taking care of himself is also him bettering himself for you. He could also be taking on extra work to help provide for the two of you, instead of doing it to avoid you.
Be conscientious about what he is doing as a priority first, and if you still feel like you are not important to him, you need to have a serious talk.
He Is Acting Annoyed All the Time
One of the most obvious signs he’s losing interest is that he is constantly annoyed by you. If he is picking apart everything you do from the way you brush your teeth to how you eat, he may be sabotaging the relationship.
If he is starting fights and bickering at you for little things, this is also a sign that some underlying issues need to be addressed.
The next time this happens, ask him what is going on underneath this annoyance. It could be resentment that he is experiencing, or he could be over the relationship.
You must ask yourself if you want to deal with his constant nit-picking, and if not, you may need to pull the plug.
Ways to Spark Your Relationship Again
Now that you understand the main signs he’s losing interest, there are some ways that you can add some fireworks back into the relationship. These aren’t for sure, but they will increase the chances of you staying together
- Learn each other’s love languages, and speak to each other in that language
- Learn something new together
- Hang out with another couple
- Have regular date nights
- Set big goals together
- Talk about your dreams and support each other on them
- Work on personal development, individually, for each other
- Ask each other the 36 questions for falling in love
Learn More About Signs He’s Losing Interest
If your boyfriend is showing any of these clear signs he’s losing interest, and he is not responding when you try to talk about it, the relationship may be over.
Your self-worth is more important than trying to fix a relationship that is beyond broken. This doesn’t mean that anything is wrong with you, it could be a personal issue with him and he just isn’t ready for your greatness!
If you found this article helpful, check out our article on how to spice up your Valentine’s Day (or any day).