If you’ve been feeling like you want a significant other in your life, and are unsure about the new world of meeting guys online, this article is for you.
According to research, approximately 30% of Americans have tried online dating at some point in their lives, and 12% of those people have found a committed relationship from their online date.
The days when you would organically meet your husband-to-be at the local grocery store or out for the night are nearly over. Nowadays, you have more of a chance of meeting your soul mate by swiping right on a dating app.
The only problem is, meeting guys online can be quite frightening and intimidating. How do you know he is who he says he is? Also, how do you act on a date with a man you met online?
Thankfully, we’ve created this article to cover everything you need to know about meeting guys online.
Keep on reading to learn how to make the most out of the online dating world.
The Beginning: Have an Accurate Profile
A lot of women express their frustration with the number of low-quality men that send perverted messages on their dating apps. If you took a deeper look into these women’s profiles, you would see that their profile is asking for the wrong type of attention.
Men are visual beings, and if your profile leads them to believe you are in it for less-than-committing reasons, they will take the chance to message you sexual come-ons.
The type of photo you choose says everything about you. For example, if you are showing a lot of skin, with a sexually-enticing pose, this will give men the green light that you are on the app for a hookup.
On the contrary, if your profile is wholesome, and shows your personality and passion, this will attract a wholesome man who is on the dating app for the same reasons as you.
Yes, you may not get as many messages, but why would you want messages from a man who only wants a hookup? The same goes for men; if his photo is a pathetic selfie in the mirror while trying to look tough without smiling, this shows a lot about his character. Next!
Also, make sure your profile is clear and concise. Refrain from sharing a photo of you in a group, or any photo that does not show your face. This is a red flag for both men and women in the online dating world.
Share a few different photos that represent you well — doing what you love to do, and in your element.
A major mistake that women make when creating their online dating profile is leaving their description blank. This is your opportunity to show who you are and attract a man who shares the same values as yourself.
The less effort you put into your dating profile, the less effort and energy you will see in return. According to a study done by Zoosk, people who fill out their profile descriptions get about 28% more messages than those who ignore that section.
On your description, share information about who you are, what you’re looking for, and what you do not want. Many women are concerned about sounding demanding, but failing to do so only makes you appear like a pushover.
Some things to consider:
- Say if you want kids or not
- Say that you love to travel and they must love it as well
- Say you love dogs and they must share your love for animals
- Say you want a committed, monogamous relationship and you are not in this for the hookups
- If you don’t drink alcohol and that you want the same from them, make sure to mention this
Men respect women who declare and know what they want. So stand tall and proud, and put it out there.
There is nothing more unattractive than a “negative Nancy” who cannot stop complaining about their previous online dating experiences. If you have had negative experiences in the past, do not share this on your profile, nor when you first talk to a man.
This makes you sound bitter about your previous experiences, and there is nothing more unappealing than a woman (or man) who can’t let go of their past.
The Dating Scene
Now that we have covered the important aspects of your online dating profile, it is essential to talk about the actual meetup or dating experience.
There are many insecurities that women have when it comes to online dating, and for good reasons. Some men use online dating as an opportunity to lure women in and add them to their bedroom list. It is important to be yourself, as well as knowing how to act, and what red flags to look out for.
There is nothing sexier to a man than meeting a woman who shows up confident on a first date. Remember that your date is auditioning just like you are, so let your inner light shine through and be proud of what you bring to the table.
For example, let’s say you show up at a used car dealership looking for a car to purchase, and you interact with two different salesmen.
One salesman is desperately trying to show you all the bells and whistles of the car, sounding overly “salesy” like he’s trying is best to convince you that this car is great. This may make you second guess how great this car is after listening to him over-talk about it.
The other salesman is calm, cool, and collected about his sales approach. He knows you are on the lot to find a car in the first place, so he shows you a car in confidence because he knows it is the right car for you. He shows you a few features and how they relate to your lifestyle and shows you why you need his car.
If we asked you which sales approach you would prefer, it is probably the latter of the two. In other words, be the buyer and not the seller.
Know that you are a whole-lot-of-woman that brings a lot to the table. Feel confident that his life would be better with you in it, without needing to convince him.
Make a List of Non-Negotiables
As you progress in the online dating world, you will probably be going on a plethora of dates before you find the right match. To eliminate the men that don’t match your criteria, you must make a list of non-negotiables.
Write down a list of ten things that are imperative for your date to be. This could be humor, honesty, chivalry, positivity, vulnerability, non-smoking, wants children, etc.
Post the list somewhere in your house and read it off before every date to remind yourself of what you want. This way, you won’t deviate from your core values and settle if you begin to feel lonely.
In addition to that list, check out which aspects you are already embodying yourself. Dating is all about shadows, so make sure you have it before you expect someone else to be that for you.
If you think the guy is a wonderful human being, yet he doesn’t align with your values and you still want him in your life, you can always put him in the friend zone.
Release Your “Type”
Many women feel that they have a specific “type” of man that they always look for, yet they always seem to have those relationships fail. This is because you are searching for something within your mate which you either not able to have for yourself or something you don’t want to have.
For example, if your “type” is always muscular and fit, it could be because you are trying to become fit yourself. In other words, you do not accept yourself when you are any less than fit, so you will not accept a man who isn’t either.
Instead of only going for physical types, make a list of your core-value types as well. When it comes down to it, your man could look like Thor, but if his values don’t align with yours, the relationship will never last.
Step outside of the realm of your “type” and you will be amazed by what the universe has in store for you.
Put in Equal Energy
If someone isn’t messaging you back, you need to cut them off. Dating is a 50/50 partnership, and if you’re wasting energy on someone that isn’t reciprocating, it is time to let them go and focus on those who are more responsive.
Your vibrator can give you a lot more satisfaction than a man who isn’t showing you enough care and interest. Plus, you will feel more lonely in quarantine with a man who isn’t treating you the way you deserve, than if you were alone in lockdown.
Save the Conversation for Real Life
If you notice that you and your potential date are just wasting time messaging back-and-forth, you either need to initiate a physical date or cut them loose.
Once you figure out that they are who they say they are, open up the possibility of meeting up in person and get to know them more in that space.
This saves all the juicy conversations for when you’re face-to-face, and you can get a sense of him by his facial expressions, energy, and tone of voice much more than curated words on a smartphone.
If it sounds like he is not budging to meet you in person, politely tell them that you are only interested in men who show interest in meeting you. After all, this is online dating, not a pen-pal service.
Online dating is intimidating, especially for a woman. To ensure you’re safe, there are a few pointers you need to follow.
First, meet the guy at the cafe or restaurant yourself without getting into his car. Not only is this for your health and safety but also, if the date sucks, you can easily leave.
Tell a couple of friends where you are going to meet your date, just in case something happens. You can also set up some code words if the date is horrible and you need an excuse to leave. Then your friend can call you and pretend they are having an emergency.
Never, we repeat, never go to the man’s house on the first date, even if you feel completely comfortable. This can be potentially dangerous and there’s no way for someone to save you.
Some dating rule suggests that you make the man wait for at least three dates before you hook up with him. We don’t believe in this rule. If you are comftorble and safe about it there is no reason you must make him wait. However, if you have a future with this man, you have many years of romping ahead of you, so there is no need to rush anything.
The Different Dating Apps
Now that we have covered how to attract your date and how to meet him in person, you need to know where to find him.
There are many different dating apps for meeting guys online, so we will cover the most common ones.
Bumble is ideal for women who are over Tinder and want to have a bit more control. As a woman, you are the one who initiates conversation after you have been matched, which helps to eliminate those pesky perverts.
Hinge is perfect for those who want to align with their potential matches before they meet them. This app allows you to post different aspects of yourself with pictures and phrases, then the men can respond with liking which specific aspect they like.
Tinder dating is the most popular one-stop-shop for dating apps, however, it has gotten a bad rep as being a hookup app. If you are careful with your profile and not misleading, you will be fine.
Learn More About Meeting Guys Online
The most important key to remember about online dating is to be yourself, and not rush into anything. Meeting guys online can be both tiresome and nerve-wracking, so remember to take care of yourself and your energy first.
If you found this article helpful, check out our article on how to do quarantine and chill during the current Coronavirus pandemic.