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Let’s Talk About Squirting

My name is Niki D and I’m a sexpert from Canada living in Bushwick, New York.  A few years ago, I noticed that in conversations with everyone from my grandma to my Uber driver, I was interested in learning about how their sex life was going, always asking very detailed, sometimes inappropriate questions.  Realizing that perhaps I should pursue my passion professionally, I did my Masters focusing on sexuality and I am now a sex educator, writer, and personal coach.

I’ve been thinking a lot about squirting lately.  By squirting I mean – female ejaculation.  The release of copious fluid.  Like male ejaculate, but without the sperm, and way more epic. You may have seen this in porn.  You may have squirted yourself.  

If you’ve seen Californication you may remember the scene where Charlie convinces Hank to have a threesome with a girl that Hank used to hook up with.  As Charlie is eating her out, Hank remembers that she’s a squirter, commenting that it’s the reason that he never called her back. Charlie, somewhat preoccupied, doesn’t hear what Hank is saying until he yells, “she’s going to blow” just as the girl squirts all over Charlie’s face.  Of course, their ex-wives walk in on the scene at this exact moment. 

Or perhaps you remember that in the most recent season of Shameless Lip finds out that his current love interest, Seirra, is a squirter. After she squirts on his face for the first time, she says “this is how I cum sometimes.” He replies, that he thought squirting was a myth like unicorns or moderate republicans, reflecting that he feels like Watson and Crick must have felt when they discovered DNA.

Squirting is indeed the white whale of sex, mysterious as fuck but also fascinating.  Is it sexy or gross!? Can anyone squirt? Do partners enjoy it or not?  Is it pee?

Before we go into the nitty gritty details, let’s discuss why anyone would even want to squirt.  Why would you want to make clean up harder by drenching the bed with your fluids? Well, for starters, it can feel fucking fantastic! Like, incredible.  I’ve only squirted once in my life, but it was the most intense release I’ve ever felt. I squirted and orgasmed at the same time and I may have seen a glimpse of the lord. It was epic as fuck.  

As Lola Jean, ‘pro squirter’ says, “I, too, can ejaculate on people’s faces.”   As women, we are not accustomed to having an orgasm lead to a large physical release. There is something really badass about being like, ‘yes I made that mess, here is physical proof of my pleasure!’  Dudes tend to find it hot too, because unfortunately we still live a world where women fake orgasms, but a soaked bed is pretty good evidence that a good time was had.

Alright, let’s get into the facts.  Where does this elusive fluid come from?

A studyon squirting examined 7 women who identified as squirters and got them to do their thang – in the lab. Before the study began, the women emptied their bladders. But once they were aroused, their bladders filled up, as shown by an ultrasound. Then they ejaculated, and it was found that their bladders had emptied again.  The study found the majority of the fluid excreted during a squirt therefore comes from the bladder.  

If it comes from the bladder, does that mean its pee?

In the same studythey compared woman’s urine to their ejaculate.  Was it the same?  Not entirely. It was found that while the ejaculate fluid had the same consistency as urine, in many cases, it was so diluted that it was odorless and clear. Also, in 5 of the 7 participants a prostate-specific antigen was also detected in the fluid. What does this mean? Although the fluid mostly comes from the bladder, and has some constitutional similarities to pee, it is not the same as pee!  

Is squirting an orgasm?

Not necessarily!  Squirting can happen before orgasm, after orgasm, or independently of an orgasm.  

Can everyone do it?

Europeans do the coolest studies.  They brought 27 women into the lab to be stimulated by the (ideally sexy French) researchers with the goal of making the women squirt. It was found that they could make 37% of the women squirt, but 63% they could not, even after trying numerous techniques over 4 sessions. Of course, a simulated lab study isn’t exactly a natural scenario, but after talking this over with friends, 37% doesn’t seem too far off.  

Can you teach yourself to squirt? 

The jury is still out…  However, here are some methods may help you squirt:

  • Engage in G spot stimulation (specifically a come-hither motion, try the Come Hither Vibe)
  • Drink LOTS of water
  • If it feels like something is building up, don’t fight it! (It may feel like letting out pee but it isn’t!)
  • Strengthen your PC muscles.  These are the muscles that you use to stop pissing mid-stream (try a Kegel Set)
  • Make sure you and your partner aren’t TOO focused on squirting.  Pressure often interferes with arousal

Part of what initiated my preoccupation with squirting was a recent event I went to in a Bushwick Warehouse. Lola Jean attempted to beat the world record for the most amount of ejaculate squirted in a one-minute period. 

We eagerly surrounded the stage, where Lola gave a quick intro before putting a huge bucket between her legs.  She started rubbing her pussy as the announcer told us to begin counting. People in the “splash zone” had umbrellas. We were transfixed by her ability to produce fluid on command.  She was getting her pussy licked backstage before, but now she was on her own. Before we got to five, she began gushing fluid like a geyser.

She finished 30 seconds later. They brought out a measuring cup, and the total weight of the squirt was 1250 ml (over 5 cups!).  They then poured a portion of the fluid into a wine glass and had a “squirt connoisseur” come onstage and have a taste of the fluid.  He enjoyed it.  A lot.  

I recently quit my full-time job and bought a G-spot stimulation dildo.  I am going to put some serious time into making my second squirt happen.  I’ll keep y’all posted. Please reach out with all your squirting stories and questions and I will do a live education sesh soon. 

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Niki D

Niki is a full time sexuality educator, writer and private sex coach. The focus of her Masters in psychology was sexuality and she has lectured at NYU, The United Nations and many other venues on the subjects of sexual communication, sexual assault intervention and support, and human sexuality. Follow her @nikidavisf