I Always Want My Hair Pulled During Sex

I truly believe that women run the world. We are the most magical beings walking the earth. Without us, men would be … well, extinct because we create them. My last Instagram post was a quote stating, “having a boyfriend is like having a stupid son.” Accurate, right? However, don’t take this introductory wrong. I do love men. I don’t wake up every day aiming to bash them. I’m just tired of them trying to control women. I’m currently in a relationship and my boyfriend understands I do not play the typical submissive roles. Except under one circumstance. Only if it involves hair pulling during sex I’ll oblige- yes daddy, pull harder!  

It can be a challenge for men not knowing whether or not hair pulling is allowed. Hair pulling is hit or miss with any female. Contrary to popular belief, a woman’s race, age, and size mean nothing when it comes to her hair pulling preference during sex. For instance, I was constantly told by my past sexual partners that they were scared to pull my hair because I’m black and our hair is off limits. Typically, that’s correct, do not randomly touch a black woman’s hair -trust me. But, with me in bed, you better grab on and pull this hair to have the best time of your life. I can never explain why I like it so much. I’m usually sickened about anything submissive. But, after a comical yet informative conversation with my girls the other night. There might be other physiological, and therapeutic reasons to the why this hair pulling makes me feel so darn good. Also, not too many of my friends enjoy hair pulling. Allow me to share their likes and dislikes of hair pulling too.  

Stop! This Isn’t My Hair That You’re Pulling

The hair may look real, feel real, and even smell real. But there’s a high chance that if a woman doesn’t like her hair pulled it’s because the hair isn’t hers. My friend Katy gave this as her reason and everyone agreed -even me. I’ll admit when I do have my hair extensions in, I would rather avoid the embarrassment and have him not pull anything. Besides, if the hair isn’t being pulled from my scalp I won’t receive the pleasure I’m seeking. 

Katy spends about $350 every week on extensions. She has an amazing natural head of long blonde hair. But, she likes hair with more volume. Therefore, she has her hair extensions installed faithfully. Katy refuses to let a man rip them out and waste her hard-earned money. Her hair is off limits during sex. “I hate to admit this but the only reason I climb on top sometimes to ride is to preserve my hairstyle” – said Katy. I can’t blame her. There are times I have to quickly decide during a steamy moment whether this rendezvous is worth me putting my hair in a ponytail the next day. 

I’d Just Rather Not; it Hurts 

My friend Kay is very sexual forward (that’s my polite way of describing her sex habits.)  I was very surprised to hear her state that she’s not thrilled about hair pulling during sex either. She said she’s at a point in her life where she’d rather her sex only to be intimate and sensual. “The kinky and dominating theatrics can take a back seat,” said Kay.  Also, she explained that every time she has tried the hair pulling it hurt her neck, and sometimes made it hard for her to breathe. 

My other friend Tiara intervened with a possible solution to Kay’s hair pulling mishaps. Tiara suggested that the guys she’s having sex with just need to be taught how to pull hair correctly while having sex. 

There are Do’s and Don’ts When it Comes to Pulling Hair

Pulling hair the wrong way during sex will ruin the entire mood, and chances of another try. We asked Tiara to walk us through how hair pulling during sex shouldbe done. She had three rules: 

No Sudden Pulls 

Her first rule was that every man should know to not suddenly pull hair during sex. Tiara shared, “One time a sudden and unexpected hair pull happened to me and I went from feeling sexy to scared. My vagina went dry immediately. That sex was awful.” If a guy knows what he’s doing he’ll play in your hair first and slowly tighten his grip. This gives you a chance to get ready for tugs. 

 Pull Only from the Roots and Not the Ends of Hair

In general, pulling hair is a form of pain, not pleasure. But the pain comes when the hair is pulled from the ends. Make sure he knows to pull only from the roots. He can gradually slide down to the ends; but only at your discretion.

Give breaks

Hair pulling breaks are needed during sex. “Men that know what they’re doing should not be pulling your hair the entire time” – Tiara. As positions change the hair pulling should take a break. 

Ehh I don’t know about the break rule. I love hair pulling too much. That leads me to my perspective of the chat. 

I Don’t Know Why, But It Feels Good and it Makes Sex Better

I went to google for a little research and everything became clearer when I noticed a correlation between hair pulling and a certain habit I have. So, along with hair pulling, I’m also in love with having my hair played in. You’ll always catch me with my head in someone’s lap begging for a good scalp massage (when my extensions aren’t in, of course.) Well, I found that our hair follicles have sensory neuronsat the base of them. When stimulated it triggers the brain to release those feel-good chemicals that always take me to a happy place. 

Hair pulling during sex stimulates the same sensory neurons- just more intense. This explains perfectly why hair pulling escalates my sexual experience. When I’m given the choice of low, medium, or hard pressure, I always go for hard. Hair pulling is my hard scalp massage. I knew it had nothing to do with being submissive. I’m too tough for that.

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T. Rogers

T. Rogers is a reader by day and writer by night. With over 7 years of content writing, she continues to prevail in her world of sour patch kids, expensive shoes and awkward moments that spark her courage to tell the greatest stories never told.