I’m currently the only one out of my girl gang with a taken status. So, by default, I now have the job of sorting through my boyfriend’s eligible friends for possible double dates. I enjoy matchmaking, so I don’t mind it at all. But this past weekend my “job” caused a ruckus. I was in the process of scoping out one of my boyfriend’s buddies during game night. I asked if he would be interested in meeting one of my friends. I had shown off her Instagram and did my spill about her career and philanthropy highlights… and, you’ll never guess what his response was. He said: “all of that is cool, but I’m more concerned about how many sexual partners she’s had.” I thought to myself he can’t be serious. But, unfortunately, he was.
Obviously, this was a mistake on my behalf and I was trying to hook her up with the wrong guy. But, the fact that there are still men who care about a woman’s number of sexual partners bothered me. Do women still care, too?I know I don’t. I wasn’t letting this go either. I needed valid answers on why the number of sexual partners a person has had is important. It’s safe to say I was uninvited by my boyfriend to his game nights after this discussion. I had a mouth full to say back to his douchebag friend. I wasn’t the only one either, a few other ladies at game night chimed in too. Here’s what the males and females at game night had to say about how the number of sexual partners a person has had before them affects their interest.
I started the debate by asking everyone; what is the exact number of sexual partners considered normal at this age
Every last person, male and female gave a different number. No conclusion was made (which proved my point.) If there isn’t an exact, universal number of partners we should have by this age, any number said is just an opinion. Take a wild guess at what I suggest you should do with opinions.
I then asked, if the number is high what does that mean to you?
Answer #1:A male stated, that it means the girl makes poor choices. But, when asked about his number…. *crickets *
Answer #3:“It’s just embarrassing and could cause conflict with people that know her past” – another male. So basically, he’s insecure and not ready for a real relationship. When you’re truly in love, you love that person for who they are (flaws and all.) Fu*k what anybody else thinks.
So, I did not need to be reminded of that at this moment. But at least he was the only man there willing to admit that he has a high number and it’s not fair to only judge a woman’s number. Looks like I picked the best one out of that group of friends. Kudos babe, I was getting nervous.
Answer #5:My boyfriend’s sister was at game night. After his statement, she admitted that she has a problem dating a man with a high number of sexual partners. She then stated it’s only a problem if he’s still, highly sexually active around the time they meet. But, if he has a promiscuous past and more judicious about who he sleeps with presently that’s fine. I don’t necessarily agree with this, but I also don’t disagree. The older we get the less drama we tolerate. Sleeping with many females at once will bring drama and who’s to say it will all vanish the moment he decides to be monogamous with you.
The only way that I could agree with someone being uneasy about a person’s number of sexual partners would be due to health reasons. Nobody wants to catch an STD. But, that can all be solved with a simple test before you begin being sexually active.My boyfriend and I took one before jumping in bed. It’s a very common and necessary action that all couples should do to keep safe.
Therefore, ladies never let your number of sexual partners define you or your new relationship. If he has an issue with it, don’t waste another number on him just move on. And, as the girlfriend of a previous male whore (no shade babe), my advice is don’t let his past and number of sexual partners define your relationship with him either. The moral of the story is f*ck numbers. Let love and only love guide you.