Enjoying consistent, mind-blowing orgasms is kind of like winning the lottery. Sure, it sounds great, but it’s just a dream, right?
Gender equality has come a long way, but sadly it hasn’t bridged the famous orgasm gap in which men are still more likely to climax during sex compared to women.
Well, it doesn’t have to be that way. There are plenty of tricks and tips you and your partner can follow to help you discover how to achieve a better orgasm. Plus, many of these tips you can use on your own to help you learn how to get yourself off.
In many cases, improved sex life can even strengthen your relationship too. After all, a lack of orgasm or an orgasm imbalance can often result in anger, resentment, and frustration in a partner.
Ready to discover a whole new world of delicious, consistent orgasms? It’s time to go big or go home.
Create Open Sexual Communication
When you’re honest and direct with your partner on what you want in bed, you’re more likely to reach a powerful orgasm. After all, every woman is unique and different, and what one person needs to achieve an orgasm is different from another.
What we want in bed changes too, and your partner won’t know that until you tell him. Communicate your needs, and you’ll be surprised how willing your partner is to meet them.
Ask for what you want and engage in ‘pillow talk’ to create fun and honest dialogue on your ventures. Don’t forget to give positive feedback on what your lover is doing right – you want them to continue doing it, right?
Lather Up With Lube
Lather up with lube and enjoy more orgasms and greater sexual satisfaction.
Using lube creates higher levels of arousal, pleasure, and enjoyment. Not only that, but it’s a useful tool to play with in the bedroom. Using lube, you can safely participate in a fun selection of acts, techniques, and positions.
Experiment With Vibrators
Many women who use vibrators reach an orgasm a lot easier, whether enjoying on their own or playing with a partner.
For many, vibrators boost the frequency and intensity of orgasms. Depending on how you reach orgasm best, you should look for a device that targets either your clitoris or G-spot. Or why not both?
If you’re tech-friendly, opt for a vibrating ‘bullet’ attachment that’s small enough to fit into your pocket. Or, if you’re looking to shake up your sex life with your partner, seek action with one of the many couples’ vibrators out there, like the We-Vibe.
Shake Off the Senses
If you’re wondering how to have better orgasms, a great idea is to remove some of the senses for a more intense climax.
Turn off the lights, close your eyes, pop on a blindfold, or wear sound-canceling headphones to allow you to engage in the moment of sex more. You’ll find that with one or more of the senses removed, your orgasms become more prominent and powerful.
That’s because the deprivation of one sense can enhance another. When you take away your sense of sight or sound, your body and mind naturally tunes into the physical feelings of your sexual experience, leaving you with an orgasm to remember.
Embrace a Closer Connection
Oxytocin, also known as the ‘love hormone’, might be the key to enhanced climaxes.
A study discovered that couples who had oxytocin in a nasal spray enjoyed more powerful orgasmsthan couples who received a placebo. Sure, you probably don’t have nasal oxytocin spray sitting on your nightstand.
The good news is that you can encourage the same bounce of the hormone naturally by cuddling, hugging, or offering other physical touches to your partner to show love and affection.
Greater relationship satisfaction is connected to higher sexual satisfaction and improved rates of orgasm. Make an effort with your partner, and your sex life is sure to thank you. Spend quality time together by bringing back date night, communicating about important issues in your relationship, and showing each other that you care.
Why not experiment with tantric sex? If the idea intimidates you, try in the most basic sex to improve your connection with your partner.
Sit across from your loved one in a comfortable position and gaze at them, directly facing them. Look deeply into one another’s eyes for 30 seconds up to one minute.
Empathy and compassion are communicated through eye contact. You’ll soon discover that once you experience a profound sense of depth, care, and understanding from your partner, your orgasms and sex life will improve.
Many people note that when they move from eye gazing to having sex, their orgasms feel like they’re arriving from an embodied place, and they feel incredibly close and connected to their partner. Try it – your orgasms will surprise you.
Include Direct Clitoral Stimulation
There’s a common but untrue belief that women should be able to climax through penetration sex alone. For many women, this can feel impossible.
Instead, many women need direct clitoral action to reach orgasm. Use your fingers to touch yourself to experiment, or you can ask a lover instead. If you have sex with a partner, try a position that allows maximum pressure on the clitoris, or use a vibrator on your clitoris during sex to send you over the edge.
Remember, there’s no right or wrong way to orgasm. Every woman is different, and it’s just a matter of learning what works for you.
Be More Demanding
Another fun way to increase orgasm is to be a little (or a lot) more selfish in bed. It’s hard for many women to reach climax because we tend to be so focused on giving pleasure instead of receiving it.
We worry about getting our partners off more than ourselves, and wonder what they’re thinking, feeling, and seeing during sex.
It’s common to pay attention from the outside as a spectator instead of enjoying the process with your partner as a participant. This enhances performance pressure and makes it difficult to achieve orgasm for yourself.
If you’re shy or you’re unsure how to ask for what you want in bed, start by initiating sex with a request rather than an offer. You could say: ‘I’d love it if you could go down on me right now.’
Giving feedback is also a great way to demand attention in the bedroom. Guide your partner’s body around yours and tell them what you want. For example, ‘I want it nice and slow’ or ‘I like it when you touch me here… can you carry on?’
With more confidence, you can get kinkier with your demands. Ask your partner to use a toy on you or tell them you won’t touch them until you receive an orgasm. Not only do you get your way, but you’ll also find it’s fun for both parties.
Start a Fantasy
Have you ever dreamed of having sex with a firefighter? Or maybe roleplaying with bondage is more up your street?
Adding psychological stimulation to an erotic encounter is a fun and creative way to increase physical stimulation, whether fantasizing on your own or playing with a partner.
Likewise, fantasy in sex is a great way to take your mind off any stress or anxiety you’re experiencing. And for the record, it’s okay and normal to fantasize about someone other than your partner or the person you’re having sex with. Maybe just try to keep it to yourself.
Turn Up the Heat
Before a hot encounter, take a warm, soaking bath with your partner. Or, if you’re short on time, try setting a warm washcloth over your vulva for a few minutes.
While this might sound strange, heat encourages blood flow to the vagina, resulting in increased lubrication and sensitivity for a powerful orgasm.
Up Your Sextech Game
These days, experimenting with toys isn’t enough for reaching the best orgasm you can. You need to be up to date on the latest in sex-boosting technology if you want to heighten your orgasm to the next level.
That’s right; in 2020, science is sexy. The past five years have welcomed ‘smart’ vibrators that allow us to connect remotely to our partners anywhere in the world, improving long-distance relationships worldwide.
Some gadgets use biofeedback technology to discover more about what you and your partner require to enhance pleasure, as well as what time of day you reach your strongest orgasms, and what settings and vibration patterns you like best.
Who knows what we can expect next for our orgasms?
Slow Down the Foreplay
Instead of rushing into penetration sex, slow down and enjoy the foreplay. One of the most common reasons women fail to achieve orgasm is because enough time isn’t spent on foreplay.
Women’s bodies go through changes to get ready for sex. These adjustments help our bodies prevent pain during sex while increasing pleasure and the chance to achieve climax.
We need time to lubricate, and the erectile tissue in our genitals need to fill with blood and engorge so that we become more sensitive during sex. The muscles holding the uterus must contact, deepening the vaginal canal ready for penetration.
All these changes to our bodies require roughly 15 minutes to take place. That means we need at least 15 minutes to be fully prepared for penetration sex.
When deep kissing, touching, and oral sex are included in foreplay, a woman’s chance of reaching climax increases.
As mentioned earlier, a boost of the ‘love drug’ oxytocin helps couples reach more powerful orgasms. To obtain more oxytocin, foreplay that includes cuddling, hugging, kissing, and bonding can boost it. Make sure to leave enough time for bonding with each other or lengthen your foreplay sessions before sex to increase sexual performance.
As we’ve touched upon, don’t be afraid to ask for what you need when it comes to foreplay. As women aren’t usually ready for sex as quickly as men are, they sometimes don’t realize that we need more time to warm up so that sex can be more pleasurable for both parties.
Try having your partner slowly and softly touch you all over your body, except for the erogenous zones before having sex. That way, you’ll be all hot and bothered before he’s even touched your hot spots.
Emphasize gradual build-up to arousal, before racing to orgasm. When a climax is extended, it usually ends up even more powerful. We promise the result will be worth it.
Ready to Have a Better Orgasm?
With our fun and playful tips, you’ll soon learn to have a better orgasm, with or without a partner.
Remember, experimenting is essential, and it may take a while to discover what gives you the most powerful orgasms. Think of the process as a fun and educational one, and don’t put too much pressure on yourself too soon.
If you’re having sex with a partner, remember that healthy communication is essential for mind-blowing orgasms. After all, if your lover doesn’t know what you do or don’t like in bed, how are you going to climax?
Want more dating advice? Here’s ‘5 things I learned from making the first move.’