Are you suffering from first date jitters? Unsure of what to wear and debating if this is even a good idea? You would rather spend your time catching up on Netflix shows, right? I completely understand; but I’m also here to encourage you to get up and go on that date. Don’t be scared, because this date doesn’t have to end horribly like the last. All you need to do is start taking control of your first dates. Here’s a few tips to help out. With these tips I’m not promising a great date, however it will not be horrible again.
Always Drive, Never Agree to Be Picked-Up on the First Date
The smartest (and I mean this in a polite way) thing for you to do is drive to the first date by yourself. Always arrive to the date without the person you’re on the date with for safety reasons. When you drive yourself to the date you are able to: have the address to the location, a car to escape in and an advantage to scope out the place before you decide to enter. Even if this first date isn’t with a stranger and you are familiar with the person – still don’t agree to be picked up. You’ve never dated this person before and this is new territory. Be smart and safe when driving to the first date.
Be Late, But Not Too Late
Basically -just don’t arrive first. My theory is that horrible dates commonly become horrible because of the anxious temperament from men. Therefore, if your date can stand a 10-minute late arrival and still be in good spirits, then he’s passed the first test. The date is starting off with good potential. If you’re greeted with a hasty attitude, you may want to reconsider staying and head back to the car.
P.S. if this is a blind date, arriving a little late is necessary. This gives you the opportunity to see if you just walked into an unfortunate episode of Catfish.
Ask All of Your Questions
Well, don’t go overboard asking a new question every minute. Or better yet, answering questions with another question. This means don’t be modest about any inquiries you have, that may have popped up during the date. Asking questions will assist you in getting a better feel of his personality (is he a weirdo or nah) and his expectations from you.
Keep the First Date Short, But Keep and Open Schedule for Afterwards
Try grabbing a coffee and bagel this time and keeping the date at an hour or less. There’s less of a chance he’ll terrify you in a short hour. Dinner dates with 5-course meals can become horrible due to you being stuck and forced to interact with a person you’re not interested in for so long. If the date is kept short, it may turn bad but not horrible before it ends.
While on the other hand the short date can also serve as a warm-up. Let’s say everything goes well over coffee and you wouldn’t mind getting to know your date better. By keeping your schedule open, you can invite him to hang out more after coffee is finished. Live in the moment and remember you are taking control of this first date. So, if you want more time with him – go get it girl!
Don’t Expect for the Date to Be Perfect
I’ve had more bad dates than good. And, as I reflect on the bad dates I noticed that they were mainly bad because of my expectations. For example, I was getting acquainted with this high-profile lawyer once upon a time. He drove a sexy black Mercedes-Benz SL550. He owned his own floral company, too. I expected our first date to be nothing less than a fairytale. Hell, I wanted to feel like Kim Kardashian on Valentines’ Day.
He owned a flower shop and I was expecting to be greeted with a beautiful red and white rose flower arrangement too big to fit in my car. That did not happen at all! We met at a local burger joint and he had the nerve to insist that we share a fry (how rude.) I went home, called my girls and gave that date a horrible review. But, in reality the burgers were good, and he was slightly funny. The date was only horrible because I expected so much. Now I know in order to avoid having a horrible date, walk in there without any lavish expectations. The only expectation you should have is getting to know the guy.
Stay Positive! Even if You Can’t Afford this Dinner and You’re Praying He’s a Gentleman and Doesn’t Make You Pay the Entire Time.
This can be hard but keep a positive mind state throughout the entire dinner. Sometimes we allow our current personal situations to jade our conversation. If you are unhappy with your personal life– keep that energy away from the date. He doesn’t want to hear about your problems on the first date. Or it could be your date with the bad attitude. Still, stay positive and remember this date is temporary. Don’t add fuel to their fire. Just remember, the date will end soon, and you will be back to your normal life with him on the blocked list.
Stay Off of Your Phone
Would you like it if your date was constantly on their phone? Exactly, so be respectful and stay off of yours. Every time you pick up your phone, your date may take that as a form of dismissal. We pick up our phones out of habit – nothing intentional. But, your date could take serious offense to it, which will ultimately ruin the date. Don’t kill the good vibes just stay off your phone.
Don’t Give any Details about Your Future
Towards the end of the date, he might start to inquire about your future. This is a tactic used to see if he can take you home tonight or have the opportunity to date you again. If you’re not completely sure how you feel about him yet – give quick and broad responses. Don’t hurt his feelings, because he might not pay for the meal. Don’t lead him on because you may never be able to get rid of him. Then you’ll always look back at this first date as the date from hell.
In conclusion, the most important thing you can do to avoid a horrible date is to always keep an exit plan available. That way if you’re getting too many bad vibes you can quickly get yourself out of the situation. But, don’t worry too much about a horrible date. A few horrible dates are normal when it comes to dating. Remember this list and use it to your advantage. Because now you know how to never have a horrible date again.