As a teenager, discovering the parameters of appropriate sexual behavior in my sex education classes; one-night stands were always taught to be forbidden. The mere mention of a one-night-stand always resulted into a lifetime of consequences. I think I can speak for myself and all of my classmates when I say, we were all scared and tired of the sappy thirteen and pregnant movies. But, here I am now at the age 30, frankly impressed with the many responsible adults having the guts to do as they please sexually and having one-night stands.
Whether you want to admit it or not, one-night stands are happening every day. It is 2019 and we are surrounded by online dating, night clubs and events created specifically for those seeking one- night stands. Sexual liberation is becoming more accepted and I’m here for all of it. If you’ve been wanting to have a one-night stand- go for it. But, there are several things you may want to consider first before you decide.
This Might be the Best Sex You Have Ever Had
Having amazing sex with a stranger is a possibility. Therefore, in the event that this happens, you need to mentally prepare yourself beforehand. My best advice is to prepare yourself for definite detachment after sex is over. Remind yourself about the purpose of a one-night-stand. It is one night only- that’s all. Keep your feelings locked up and inside Pandora’s box (along with your actions from the night.)
This Might be the Worst Sex You Have Ever Had
Before deciding on a one-night stand, please consider that you could possibly end the night horrified and dealing with shame. It doesn’t matter if the chemistry between your chosen partner seemed to be solid in the night club. The sex chemistry amongst you two can turn out to be a total fail. Actually, in 2017 Zavaconducted a studyand surveyed five-hundred Americans and five-hundred Europeans, both male and female about their one-night stand encounters. This study found that the majority of women surveyed reported that they did not enjoy their one-night stands, as they had hoped for. This isn’t shocking to me at all. Men always seem to find a way to ruin something, right?
So, ladies this is what I recommend doing if you decide to have the one-night stand. Don’t tell anybody (not even your nosey ass best friend) before the one-night stand happens. Because, if you’re mortified afterwards and want to completely erase this night off of your body count – you can. The surveyalso found that 42% of Americans and 45% of Europeans, both male and female do not run and tell their friends about their one-night stands. They prefer to keep the events of the night private. Before you run out of that bedroom to start reclaiming your dignity, make an agreement with your partner. Both of you should make a pact to not tell a soul about what went down that night. Then, voilàthat night of bad sex is erased.
He Might Find You at Work, Home, or on Social Media
It is very important to consider the chances of your partner having access to you, before you decide on going through with this one-night stand. Does he live in the same area as you? Do you have any whereabouts in common? These are important questions to ask yourself if you want to keep your existence after sex mysterious. If you want to keep your existence on social media completely out of his reach, make your pages private. Or, better yet find him on social media first and block him from ever having the chance to see your pages. Some of you may be thinking, why would anyone care about running into a one-night stand. Well, the act of stalking should be considered. Also, those with situations at home, like a husband and children don’t ever want this guy showing up in their personal or social media life- ever!
Don’t Ask Questions
Of course, you have the right to ask whatever you please during a one-night stand. Actually, there should be one question asked every time this event transpires: do you have a condom? But, personal questions should always be off limits. If you don’t ask questions, neither will he. Your partner for this one-night-stand is more than likely a complete stranger. And, I know there are a million questions running through your head. However, when questioning becomes involved it opens the door for judging and opinions. These extra feelings aren’t needed during this time. Stay in tune with the main feeling – be horny and have fun.
Have an Escape Plan in Case Things Get Weird
Always consider having an escape plan. Again, this person is probably a complete stranger. If he does anything that takes you out of your comfort zone you should leave as soon as possible. Always let a friend or family member know where you are. Also, keep someone on standby to help make the escape plan disguised. Have a key word you can text that alarms them to call you with an “emergency.” Then, run!
Is it Worth It?
The surveyconfirmed my statement in the introduction that one-night stands happen frequently. The survey also displayed that only 14% of all participants plan their one-night stands and 86% of them have them spontaneously. One-night stands are almost always impulsive decisions. Sometimes drugs, alcohol and emotions can taint the decision. So, re-consider your motive for this one-night-stand. Is it to solely alleviate your sexual curiosities about this person? Or, are you really using this as a coping mechanism to deal with deeper issues that you’re currently experiencing. Do not think or assume a one-night stand will make it all better. Self-love and self-care are not easy to establish and practice within yourself. If you want to keep yours secure always be mindful of your actions.