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5 Signs That You’re Being Used for Sex

Nothing irritates me more than females being mocked and criticized for their heartbreaks. Somehow the inconsistent behavior of men is always our fault. When relations go sour, all we hear is: “you should’ve known better”, or “how did you miss the signs?” Well, I’m here to tell you that if a man ended up using you for sex- it is not your fault. Men are manipulative. When feelings are involved the situation can become blurry and complicated. The signs of him using you for sex may not always be evident. Therefore, I’ve rounded up five major signs that can assist women in deciphering if they are indeed being used for sex.

This is a no judgement zone and if you’re cool with a sex forward relationship that’s perfectly fine. This list can also help you solidify that you and your partner are on the same page. For the ladies wanting a substantial relationship- this list might hurt. But, will ultimately save you from wasted time and feelings. Hopefully it gives you the boost needed to close your legs on this guy and open them up for someone willing to give you more.

Indecisive Date Plans that Always Lead to Netflix and Chill… or Hulu and Doing You 

This sign is first because it’s the most common and deceitful sign of them all. If you’re reading this article you must have some doubts pertaining to your current situation. Are you friends telling you he just wants sex? And, your only arguing point to defend yourself is that he doesn’t only show up during ‘booty call’ hours? Well, contrary to popular belief boys are becoming clever. The booty call hours were no longer working, and a new strategy has been formed. 

Now, the common hours that men creep in for sexual desires are midday and early evening. Men will say that they’re coming over for an outing or cutesy activity, but somehow, he convinces you to just stay in. After sex is done, he won’t stay the night either. Another excuse is given and your left alone, still yearning for affection (or food because we all know sex can work up an appetite.) So, if plans constantly change to staying in, and you always end the night alone – he’s using you for sex.

Do You Know Anything About His Family and Friends? 

In the beginning stages details about family might not be the topic of discussion over dinner. But, if he hasn’t casually discussed information about his family and friends around the third meet up – this is another sign he’s using you for sex. 

I’ve learned from *plenty* of experience that men tend to instantly share information about themselves if they are interested in a potential relationship with you. This is mainly due to them not wanting to be rejected after they put in effort. So, they’ll mention personal information about themselves up front to see if you’re still down for the journey. If you find yourself playing detective, and putting his life pieces together in your head (or in the best friend group chat) after he leaves – he doesn’t want this relationship to hold any depth. He’s looking for a sexual situation only. 

Did He Already Mention He Doesn’t Want a Girlfriend? 

Here’s a red flag lady. When he stated he’s not looking for a girlfriend (due to whatever excuse), he was also obliquely inviting you to a casual sex agreement. If you’re thinking that he just wants to start this situation as friends and there’s potential of a relationship later down the line –think again. His statement of not wanting a girlfriend is alerting you that he is not open to any commitment or relationship scenario. He’s here for one thing only sis; do not miss this sign. 

Do Days Go by Without Contact Due to “Busy” Work Schedules? 

This sign can be tricky, however trust your intuition. Balancing a work, social, and romantic life can be difficult for anyone. So, when deciding if his flaky behavior is valid, ask yourself these two additional questions. First, does he go over two days without a call or text? Secondly, does he have a pattern of making plans and canceling them? 

If you answered yes to the first question, then he’s more than likely using you for sex. When a man is interested he can’t go too long without saying “hi” or knowing that you’re okay. A simple phone call or text can take less than a minute. This is a small, but important gesture to let you know you’re on his mind during busy hours. If he never takes the time to do that, but constantly calls when he wants to come over- this situation is all about sex to him. 

If you answered yes to the second question, again, it’s likely that he’s using you for sex. Every date or plan that he makes with you should be important enough to keep. My grandmother would always tell me, “people will always make time for things they care about.” When I started dating, that statement by granny was proven true over and over again. If this man has a habit of canceling plans due to being “busy,” yet always has the time to stop by your house later that evening … hmmm, do I really have to say it?

Is Sex the Most Common Topic?

If the topic of sex is brought up (in any way) during the first couple of meet ups- he wants sex and sex only. By speaking about sex and inquiring about your sexual desires early on, he’s aiming to make you comfortable with having sex with him. In my opinion, traditionally sex should not be brought up by either party seeking a relationship during initial dates. Notice, I say traditionally. There are scenarios where sex will happen fast, and a relationship can still form. But, while the relationship is forming sex shouldn’t always be the number one topic. Pay attention to how often he brings up sex. If sex is mentioned in basically every conversation -say no more. Sex is all he wants 


Take head to these signs and take back control. Men may think they have the upper hand, but in reality, women run everything in their little world. There’s nothing worse than building a relationship with someone that has intentions against your knowledge. Know your worth, and if leave the situation if it is not what you want (or if the sex isn’t even worth it). Being used for sex stops today! 

Note from the Owner of The White Unicorn:

If you are just looking for sex then we support that. We say be a slut, do what you want! But if you are looking for a relationship, these are one sure fire ways to tell that he is just a fuck boy.

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T. Rogers

T. Rogers is a reader by day and writer by night. With over 7 years of content writing, she continues to prevail in her world of sour patch kids, expensive shoes and awkward moments that spark her courage to tell the greatest stories never told.