Dating starts out easy. Remember being a teenager and asked out to your first movie date. Those dates were innocent. They involved only popcorn, soda, a few giggles and maybe a kiss. He just wanted to enjoy your company, brag to his friends and maybe cop a feel of your boob (still, the date was innocent.) But, then we get older and going a date begins to lack respect and trust from these boys. I finally thought I could trust a guy and bring him back to my home. My mistake; I awakened the next morning alone, sick, and missing over $200 from my account. I had been robbed.
Where shall I begin? I’ll start with a disclaimer that I was not naïve with men during this time. I was fresh out of a three-year relationship and focused on me and my career. I was very judicious with whom I gave my number, attention, and body to…however, I will say my main concern with dating was the lies told just to get me in bed. I had no idea I should’ve been more concerned about the possibilities of being robbed too.
There was this guy I knew from around campus. We had several mutual friends. He was sexy, actually the sexiest guy that had ever crossed my path. And, of course, he was in a relationship when we met. We had an instant connection upon meeting and talked for hours. The next time we saw each other, it was the same energy, and surprisingly he asked for my number. I think his excuse to ask (because, yes, he was still in a relationship) was for help with his economy class. Literally, the lamest excuse, but I ran with it and gave him my number. Our texts started off about economy but always drifted to something else.
He became single and the text messages turned into phone calls. Remember, I was well acquainted with his close friends that all vouched for his character. He was single now, and we had been getting to know each other for several months. Therefore, when he asked to go out for drinks I trusted that I knew him well enough to go. The week leading up to our date it had become obvious in our conversations that he wanted to have sex with me. And, I was all for it. I made it obvious that I was ready for him whenever, wherever and however. Did I already mention he was very sexy?
That night finally arrived. I was fully prepared for it. I shaved, I soaked in a lavender bath, and I even meditated on how I would give this man the best sex of his life. We went to a bar in my neighborhood and I had one drink. Only one drink– that’s all.I was feeling tipsy already too, so I made that drink my first and last. He asked to go back to my apartment because he had been displaced and sleeping on couches since his breakup. Well, this was new information to me. I was hesitant with an answer because I never have men come back to my house. I live alone, and it’s not safe. But, I thought I knew him. I also wanted to have sex really bad, so I said yes.
That one drink had me breaking more of my rules. I usually wait for the guy to undress me. But, I remember I started stripping as soon as we walked in my place. I remember amazing foreplay, too. But after
That next morning, I awakened with a dry mouth gasping for air and water. The second I sat up, vomit was on its way up too. As I ran to the bathroom I realized I was home alone. My company had let himself out. I was relieved that he didn’t see me puking like this and confused at the same time. Did I kick him out? Did he really leave without saying goodbye? Was the sex even good? My phone was dead, and I couldn’t call to get my answers. So, I hopped in the shower to gather my thoughts. But, my mind was unsettling. I knew something wasn’t right. I only had one drink.
As I’m in the shower my phone cuts back on and I hear several bank notifications go off. What in the hell did I buy last night, I thought. I checked my phone and saw recent gas purchases. Then a department store purchase came through. I called and canceled my card immediately. It was obvious that card was no longer in my possession and I needed to find out where it was.
I called last night’s hook-up hoping he didn’t have anything to do with this. He didn’t answer my call. I called my best friend next and told her what I remembered about the night. She was brutally honest and said exactly what I was thinking but didn’t want to believe. “Did you ever leave your drink unattended? There was something extra in that drink and he ran off with your credit card girl” – she said. I did leave my drink with him when I went to the bathroom…
We both immediately began investigating the situation. The gas charges were in the same area where he was staying
He was lucky I couldn’t prove the drink tampering. He was even more lucky that his friends also talked me in to not pressing charges. They explained to me that he was having a hard time financially. Still, that doesn’t give him the right to go through my personal belongings, steal and use my credit card. Especially, while I’m drunk and unconscious.
He did end up giving the money back. It wasn’t the next day though. It took me about three weeks to get all of it from him. I never answered his phone calls again. I didn’t bring another male I was dating to my house again either. I was fortunate to only have that $260 stolen. It could’ve been worse. Therefore, I tell this story to remind women about the dangers in dating as an adult. Even if a little trust is there, still be precautious around men you are just getting acquainted with. Also, neverleave your drink. Not for any reason whatsoever.